Monday, January 28, 2008

MST presents: Clannad ep 13

Nice Weeds.

My apologies to Mystery Science Theater...

Crow: Is he *weeding*? What the hell is going on here? Tomoya's doing freaking lawn work so Kotomi gets the hell over her parents dying ten years ago already? Is this a "very special episode brought to you by the Garden & Lawn department at Wal-Mart" or something?

Joel: Well, if he recreates her backyard like it used to be, and has the birthday party he missed a long time ago, maybe she--

Crow: Then she can relive her seventh birthday, and mentally regress even more? Oh, wait, she *already* acts like she's seven. Actually, I've heard seven year olds play the violin better than Kotomi.

Joel: Yeah, but I'm pretty sure *I* could play the violin better than Kotomi too, and I've never touched one...

Tom Servo: I think this where we're supposed to gasp at the awesomeness of Kyoani's animation--I mean, look at the detail on the roots that Tomoya's pulling up, on those weeds. It's amazing--

Crow: When Kyou is onscreen, I'll admit it's awesome. When it's the Tomoya Weeding Show--kill me. Speaking of characters that don't suck, where the hell is Tomoyo? Is she even in this series any more? I'm pretty sure the retard with the starfish fetish talked to her once, what was her name again...

Joel: Wow, I'm sensing a disturbance in the Force here...too much hate for Fuuko and Kotomi...

Tom Servo: Crow hates everything, it's like his mission in life... But I have to agree Kotomi's arc's not really striking me as a masterpiece. I mean, yeah, what happened was tragic, but what kind of parents would leave a seven-year old Kotomi home *alone* while they leave the country? Who exactly has been raising Kotomi since they died?

Joel: Not to mention, what's with Key and every time something traumatic happens to their male lead, they just completely forget people around them exist?

Crow: Oh, great, here comes Nagisa. "Okazaki-san~! I just came to help because I want you to knock me up!"

Joel: Not a Nagisa fan either, I see...

Crow: Please, between Kyou, Tomoyo, and Nagisa, who do you think would get ranked dead last in any kind of popularity poll? That's what I thought. And don't get me started on Ryou.

Tom Servo: You know how they detect planets around other stars? Planets are so small and faint that they can't be seen with even the most powerful telescopes--so they have to look for the slightest changes on the star they orbit, either from gravitational force or the planet passing between the star and Earth. Ryou's the planet and Kyou's the star.

Crow [heavy sarcasm]: Yeah, I got it--and thanks a lot for the astronomy lesson.

Joel: It is kind of sad, Ryou coulda been a contenda in any other series but here...she's forever going to be Kyou's sister, background character. "Do you want me to tell your fortune?" Kind of moe but...yeah, she's not going to Hollywood.

Tom Servo: If this was Minami-ke Okawari, Ryou would be black...

Crow: So that's the end of the episode? They're all weeding together? Wow, this is great stuff. Good thing you had the bright idea to wait for the widescreen version, because I'd hate to only watch people weed a lawn in 4:3. God, that'd be a freaking crime.

Joel: Seriously, I don't think this episode was *that* bad...Kotomi's story may not be the greatest, but you've got to be a cynical bastard to not at least tear up a little at what Kotomi had to go through.

Crow: Sure, but it was like ten years ago! They should have arrested her parents for child abandonment, running off saying "invite your friends over and party without us--oh, and don't stick scissors in any electrical outlets while we're gone." Didn't that happen in real life when some dumbasses bailed on their kids to go to Mexico for a week, and they got five years in jail?

Tom Servo [sweatdropping]: I think we're done here...

For the record, I am enjoying Clannad so far...but yeah.

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